I love art. I love drawing and am successfully pursuing a career in illustration. It’s like, the best thing ever. I see art that inspires me and want to draw stuff. I see flaws in my work and want to get better. I have 500 ideas I want to bring to life.
For me, curling up and putting on some background tv and drawing for hours is pretty much the ultimate.
And I feel like my brain should realize this and WANT to draw all the time. It is logical.
And instead I’ll spend hours on a day off just poking around the internet aimlessly, rather than working on anything, just because of a general feeling of ‘don’t wanna’.
It makes me want to punch past me in the face. Especially when present me has reached a point of ‘no more time to work on anything because I have stuff to do now’.
Now, it's not like I'm utterly lazy about it...it is possible that, right now at least, part of the problem is that I AM burning my creative candle at both ends and in the middle...I work a 10 hour creative day, work on freelance or personal work over my lunch hour, and then after going to the gym, coming home, doing quick chores and throwing something quick in my stomach for dinner, I go back to freelance or personal work. So, by the time my first day off rolls around my brain is tired. I want to sit on the sofa with cats on my feet and browse tumbler and read smutty fan fiction. So, I generally spend a few hours doing exactly that.
And I know brains need breaks. I get that.
But since I love art so much, I think that spending time doing art should constitute a break. Maybe. Or my brain could stop whining and grow a pair and I could spend the morning being productive rather than feeling depressed and guilty over doing nothing of consequence for hours on end.