So, as my last post indicated, at the beginning of July I began a 'drawing a day' challenge, and then promised to update with some of my daily drawings.
I did not do this.
I got through about a week and a half and then I ran into a problem.
I draw a lot. And apparently, human hands aren't designed to make that same motion over and over and over again and sometimes get cranky when you make them.
I found myself on the very upsetting receiving end of an RSI.
It seems to be nothing too serious -- tendonitis. It will heal, though I have to learn to pay proper attention to what my body tells me in the future. My mind says 'if it's hurting, that means you are working hard and should feel satisfied with your success!'...so now I am trying to accept a new way of thinking that is more along the lines of 'take regular breaks, stretch, and if it starts hurting, stop for a little while, and maybe take an anti-inflammatory and ice that sore puppy'.
Needless to say, I find this very frustrating.
Actually, that is a grievous understatement.
I love art. It makes me happy. All I want to do is draw. I haven't been able to do ANY personal work lately, I've been moving at a snail's pace at work, and I had to put my freelance job on an embarrassing temporary hold.
I've spend a lot of time upset and depressed.
I get a knot in my throat when I see great art online, my feelings ranging from jealousy at others' ability to work, to anger over my human limitations to fear that I will never heal and that I will be forced to give up the thing I live for.
In short, July has sucked.
But there has been some good fallout.
First. I love the online art community. I tear up thinking about it. Because I got pretty freaked out at first, not knowing what nature of injury I was suffering and whether I was ruined forever and whether I would EVER draw AGAIN--I do get a little histrionic...but I was seriously really upset. And I posted a couple journals on my Deviant Art and Tumblr accounts, and the outpouring of support I got from the other artists in those communities really...it was what kept me hanging on by a thread for a few days, and it hasn't stopped. Getting involved in online art communities is seriously one of the things in my life that I am the very most happy that I decided to do.
Second, my problem has forced me to stretch my personal potential.
I have spent most of July without the use of my right hand.
I have always been pretty dominantly right handed, and pretty hopeless with my left.
Welp.
Still getting there with the left, but as it has been all I have had to work with this month, I have been learning to use it out necessity. Some of it has been incredibly frustrating, because I just don't have the level of control or muscle memory that I do in my right. But my BRAIN knows what needs to happen...I just have to get all the systems in line.
The first night that I stopped using my right in order to let it rest, I started a left-handed sketchbook. I have drawn and written in it almost every night -- the notable exceptions are the evenings when I spend a long day at work doing a lot of drawing. My left is, obviously, just not as strong as my right, so it tires more easily. I am doing my best to be conciencious of my own limitations and only do as much as I can...but even so, I spent all of Wednesday painting the background into an in-progress piece for work that is full of running animals (newish subject matter) and nature and light and it was just...it felt so good.
Art is what makes me happy.
When I can't do it, I am much less happy.
Finally, I have installed something called 'WorkRave' on my work computer and will probably be installing it, or something similar, on my laptop as well. It is a program that sets you timed 'microbreaks' (about 30 seconds, just to rest your hand and stretch a little) and 'rest breaks' (longer breaks at which you are supposed to actually leave your desk and walk around). It is much less distracting than I feared it would be -- usually the microbreaks are a really good time to lean back and examine what I'm doing and whether it is working. It has a few problems -- I thought you could schedule your own choice of duration of work and break periods, but have been unable to find a way to do so, and it only wants to let me work 4 hours a day. That's nice, but my workday is a little longer than that.
Anyway, in my next post, perhaps I'll scan a few pages from my new leftie sketchbook so you can see my progress. But for now, here are a few of the (aborted) 30 day challenge pieces I promised to share:
Day 2: Someone you like (celebrity, significant other or crush)
Day 3: One, Some or All of your friends
Day 9: Your Favorite Cartoon/Anime Character
Day 10: Something you can't live without
Oh cruel fate...why you gotta play me like that?